Another day will pass...

...and soon it will be another year. And often at the end of the year and the onset of another, it does get you into a reflective mode. But one thing for sure, I have stop making resolutions because I will never keep them. However, I do have plans and I do have my own personal goals, but I am realistic enough to know that I may not be able to achieve these plans and goals within the year but at least in the coming few years.

Looking back at 2005, it is definitely an unusual year in many ways but it is also one of the most rewarding year. For one, I was confered my Masters of Science in Early Childhood Education from Wheelock College, Boston, Massachusetts. Yes, that studying, working, juggling wifehood and motherhood, and daughter-in-law-hood has finally paid off. I had always wanted a Masters degree one day and that resolution to actually do something about it came about only in 2000 and finally I embraced all my fears, my doubts and my insecurities and took the plunge at the end of 2003. So you know, my resolution took a couple of years to materialise. But I'm glad I did it. And I am sooooo happppppyyyyy!!!!

I have dreams of living in another country but it hadn't cross my mind that I would be living that dream in 2005 in the United States of America. But here I am living the good and laid back life of an 'expat' wife (ehem).

There were other moments when my life is not exactly rosy for me, and this year was also one of the worst time that I had to confront that moment. That painful and hurtful moment which I could still vividly recall and remember. But I am thankful that God gave me extreme strength and unwavering patience to see it through and still remain in one piece. Alhamdullillah. I continue to pray that that moment will not enter my life anymore. It will pass, really pass. Full stop. Period.

I quit my 'glamourous' job in June 2004 and for 7 months that I was not working but studying, I was the dutiful wife and mother, and also the unofficial chauffeur. The issue of not having any income of my own did bother me but that was one of the fears that I had to sort out myself and surge on with the support of my hubby. When I finally landed a job as a research associate in February 2005, I was happy and glad that this new position or career is so much in sync with the current priorities in my life and that would be a stepping stone to something greater and wonderful. But alas, that lasted for four months because I dutifully again, followed my hubby to the American soil. Once again without my own income.

I have no regrets, but much to be grateful for despite not having much income as I used to. Maybe He knows best and though we have sacrificed so much, I am satisfied to say that my not working has not been a financial strain to my hubby or our family. Of course, we could have so much more so that we can enjoy more things in life and settle any outstanding mortgage earlier, but I think my life has been richer for the lack of it. The only thing I feel is that I can offer so much of my time into good use like volunteering in my son's school but the lack of transportation has impeded my mobility. I write Malay stories but have not found an outlet for it to be published and shared. I wish I could contribute my intellectual thoughts somewhere but for now, only this blog and my multiply site have been my intellectual (and maybe emotional and social) playground. No matter what, cos the time will come when it comes, I'm loving this 'being at home in US' opportunity as it will not come that many times in anyone's lifetime. I don't know how 2006 will turn out to be but I know for sure, certain important things need to be done especially when we return to Singapore, and there's a whole long list waiting to be checked and deleted.

Have a happy and blessed new year to all. May He grant all your prayers and doas and may life be what you wish and pray it to be. Insya Allah.