Is there such a thing as...

...a maid destress therapy? If there is, I need one.

There are many types of maid stories in the news. The ones that were abused by the employers, on one hand, and the others that abused their employers' relations like murdering the mother and mutilated the kids. Then there are the heroic employers and employees, where they each nominate the other for being 'heaven sent'.

The last time I came into close contact with a maid was some seven or eight years ago, when my maternal grandfather was ill. My mother and one of her nephews (grandfather's grandson) decided to take a maid to care for my ailing grandfather.

She is a sure blood-sucker. Tell her not to do something, and she still did it. Everytime she spoke to her husband or cannot get through to him on the phone, she will cry and be moody. She blamed my mom's nephew for not sending her letters to her husband. When she did not like what was being told to her, she showed the 'black face' and often raised the temperatures of my mother and her nephew with her favourite line of "terserah" (as you wish). Initially, we wanted to let her continue working even after my grandfather's demise, but her attitude was intolerable. She was sent back, and that was it.


Now, let me tell you why I need a maid-destress therapy.

My current maid is not like the maid above. She will not show me a black face. If she was being reprimanded by me, she will show me a confused look or a silly smile. Except with two or three occasions, where I was really angry and upset, most of my reprimands were rather mild. So maybe, that's the reason for the silly look on her face that sometimes irks me. But, but, but, she is really good at playing psychology.

This maid likes to tell me of her "dreams", fabricated or otherwise. She would tell me she dreamt that her mother was sick, or her father died. So when this happened before, I told her one day, that if she wishes to call home or goes home, she just needs to tell me, there is no necessity to create some dreams. But no, she would meekly and adamantly say that it happened in her dreams,"Oh iya, saya mimpi, betul." But of course, her parents are fine alright.

Last evening as I was cooking in the kitchen and she was there to help me, there was the usual conversations here and there, and finally the topic of "I had dreams" came up again. OK, there she goes again, I told myself.

This time, she told me she dreamt about 'qiamat' (doomsday). That actually gave me a shudder. The reason being, I dreamt about 'qiamat' some few weeks back too. I only told my husband about it. Sidetrack: When I dreamt about 'qiamat', the visions of which were different from hers, I was really scared. I actually woke up in cold sweat, my heart beating really fast and my lips kept saying Nauzubillah. The time on my handphone showed 4.33 am.

Then she went on. She said she even dreamt about ghosts. And that there is actually one in my house.

That's it! That really irks me. I've lived in this rental house for nearly a year, and I feel really fine and comfortable and this maid had the cheek to play with my mind. She not only want me to believe that she dreamt about ghosts but goes to the extent of claiming that my house is inhabited as well.

You see what I'm saying. She will surely ace in psychology.

Should I send her back? Because I no longer have a good feeling about her.

And so the saga continues...

After asking her about the calls and smses, and I used the word asking, not even confronting, she claimed that her brother knew that handphone number because I ever used that phone to call her kampung so that number was registered in her brother's handphone. Ok whatever...maybe my memory failed me but she remembered? Or that was part of the plan? Hmmm.

Anyway, she said she hasn't call her kampung for a while so I let her used my handphone to call her kampung. She chatted with her brother for a little while and as always, she would have a confused look on her face. Later I asked what her brother wanted, and she told me a story. It could be true, no?

...of how her kampung was inflicted with drought and the crops did not grow well and that basically the crops either died or cannot be sold. So the menfolk have to migrate to the city to find work. Not a bad idea eh, I thought, if the menfolk have to move to the city for a while to find work until a better harvest comes.

And then I asked again, "Did he ask you for money?"

"Yes."

"So?"

"I dont know."

So here goes:-

"Last time when I worked for my previous employer, I borrowed $300 in advance."

I looked at her with a stoned face, I said, "Even if you ask from me, I wouldn't lend you any money."

"How long have you worked here?

"Four months"

"How much do you have?"

"$100"

"Do you want to send that money back?"

"No"

So she doesnt want to send her money back, but hinted that she might want to borrow $300 from me. Was I mean? The reason I was having doubts was because her brother sms said he wanted to get a new handphone, not because of some withered crops.

She meekly asked for advice on what she should do.

So I asked her again, "What's your objective of coming to work here?"

She kept quiet.

"Didn't you intend to build a house?"

"Yes"

"So, if you keep spending money (she used the little money that she earned to splurge on some little stuffs for herself ...like red underwear, baby tees, hand lotion, hair lotion etc) and sending money at every call from the kampung (for unnecessary things like a new handphone) .. . when are you ever going to build a house for yourself?"

She kept quiet, as if listening intently to my advice.

"And by the way, your passport is expiring in August, and you need to renew it for a fee that you have to pay yourself, but if you feel you need the money, you don't need to renew your passport. I can send you back."

Period.

Four months and a week after having her...

I'm having doubts that I can have a chummy relationship with the domestic helper. Not that I was expecting to be a buddy with her, but at least, an understanding employer. She was ok, I thought. And I see a possibility of renewing her contract after two years. But I couldnt help feeling angry with her for not telling me straight that she made a hole in one of my scarves during ironing, and not a cheap one at that. I asked her what she did the whole day, but nothing of burning a hole in my scarf came up until much later in the night, when I realised she hasn't washed a pailful of scarves that was left in the morning in the laundry. We left her alone in the house in the morning and came back very late at night, and what was she doing the whole time? Her excuse was the clothes on the line were still not dried yet so she did not do the washing as there will be no place to hang them. I think this is rubbish, as usually she would hang them on hangers and hang it at the yard if the clothesline were full.

This may be a small tiny matter that does not personally require her to be sent back to the agency, but because of the "forget to pick Afzal up once incident", "a few times waking up later than me with the excuse that the alarm clock never ring", "her handphone issue" yes HER handphone, "another handphone issue", and the "two bright red underwear", I'm very suspicious and cautious of her.

This girl has worked here for four years in some other household before. I believed she loved the colour red, as the first time I picked her up, she was wearing a red scarf but has since not put any scarf on while working with me, though I have never stopped her from wearing them. She claimed her handphone that she bought from her previous work here is red which was kept by the agency and she will only be able to get it back after working for three months provided her work is good. So she's been bugging me to get her handphone back from her agency. But the agency claimed that they have misplaced or lost her handphone blah blah blah.

I actually gave her one handphone for use in case I need to get in touch with her or my son. But I specifically told her it's not for her personal use. If she wishes to call home, she has to inform me first, and she can use my handphone for that. But I checked the handphone that I gave her for our use and there was a call made to her brother on Apr 27, and just today, her brother smsed her twice using that handphone number. I'm beginning to feel that she is not telling the truth or she is doing things behind my back and not informing me.

I used to be nicer to her, but of late especially after she burned my scarf and woke up late again, my conversations with her is just purely instructions to do this and that. I think she realised that as well and have not made much small talk with me too. She is definitely guilty of something...

Hmmmm, so tell me...

When words matter ...

Hubby is a strange person. He is not endowed with the gift of the gab, but that does not mean he is not good with words. He is not the expressive sort, and yet he used to write short stories in Malay, comic strips in Malay and even contribute his own political analysis of situations in Malay to various local and overseas newspapers. But when asked him to talk, he gagged. When asked him to express his love for me in written form especially when it comes to my birthday cards, he will just find a nice card with nice words, and add my name on top and sign off with his name below. That's my hubby for you. Anyway, after nearly seven years with him, I did not request him to write any lovey-dovey stuff anymore but my birthday card this year is really sweet. I'm so touched. It means so much to me. Eventhough the words were not his, he bought it because it expresses his feelings so accurately and so aptly that he even blancoed two words on the card. The reason being it was a phrase from the bible, and another word, he replaced it with Allah.

I'm glad that I'm a blessing to him. And our love is a blessing from HIM.

A pat on the back...

for Malay children who took their O levels in 2005, for having done well in English.

Percentage of GCE O Level Students Who Passed English Language.

Malay - 76.7% (2004), 85.1% (2005)
Chinese - 85.5% (2004), 85.6% (2005)
Indians - 89.9% (2004), 92.2% (2005)
Others - 89.9 (2004), 92.8% (2005)
Nat.Ave - 85.0% (2004), 86.1% (2005)

So, the Malays have done very well in this area, for the first time since the statistic in 1996, the percentage have exceeded 80% and increased by substantial margins. Syabas Melayu...that means our English is powderful too! err powerful I mean.

Hopefully this will inspire us to continue to do even better.

Time to reflect again

on the past year or the past 35 years...what have I achieve? What have I done? Where am I now? Where will I be going next?