Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts

Friday, June 18, 2010

Memory booster for your kids with rosemary essential oil

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I love to roast – especially my all time favourite rosemary chicken that hubby and Afzal simply love to the bone bits. In fact, it is an easy weekend treat, but also a great platter for welcoming and entertaining guests. I love the aroma and the taste of the rosemary herb. It has a wonderful depth of aroma and taste, but also very bright, uplifting and almost sweet.

Now the great part is, rosemary essential oil is also known to strengthen one’s mental capacity. It has a pronounced effect on the brain, as it helps to increase blood flow. Therefore, it has a reputation as an excellent brain stimulant as well as boosting memory. Further, it also helps with headaches, migraines, neuralgia, mental fatigue and nervous exhaustion. Since it increases the circulation to the scalp, it is also very good in promoting hair growth.

Because of its skin regenerative properties, rosemary essential oil is also used in some skincare products for troubled skin like puffiness, swelling, acne, dermatitis and eczema. However, it is noted that it should not be used during pregnancy and unsuitable for people with epilepsy and high blood pressure.

Rosemary essential oil blends particularly well with Cedarwood, Citronella, Geranium, Lavender, Lemongrass and Peppermint.

With such memory enhancement properties, I’m sure a little dose of this essential oil while your child is studying, reading or doing mental arithmetic will help to improve your kids’ mental capacity. That aside, I’m sure it will also provide a nice, warm and pleasing environment for learning. Wouldn’t you want that for your children?

Now, for only 7 days, I'm offering a 100ml rosemary essential oil for only S$60. Retail is usually between S$18.50 to $S20.50 for a 10ml bottle. Imagine, the average savings of about S$130! You wouldn't want to miss this special.

Other essential oils I have to offer is country rose, lavender, ginger and lemongrass blends, lemongrass, grapefruit and sweet orange.

Free delivery within Singapore. Submit your orders to mariaandtahir@gmail.com. Orders will be processed once a fund transfer of 50% has been made to one of the following account:
DBS: 029-0-028080 POSB: 084-87540-6 OCBC: 553-0-055416

Balance of 50% will be cash on delivery. Once you have made a fund transfer, please email mariaandtahir@gmail.com or sms to 8102-8487. This offer is good up to 24 June 2010. So hurry, don’t miss this opportunity! Only S$60 for a 100ml bottle!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Calming your kids with lavender essential oil

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One of my favourite scents is lavender. It's sweet floral-herbaceous scent that comes with a slight woody undertone is a must-have for me as I used lavender scent all the time as my fabric softener. Also, there is always a can of lavender scent spray either at home or in the car.

Lavender is grown at high altitude mainly from the mountainous region of France. This fragrant essential oil is nearly colourless and blends well with most oils, especially citrus like Sweet Orange, florals like Ylang Ylang and Geranium, and with woody scents like Cedarwood, and Pine.

According to one scientific study, lavender has the ability to help restful, deep sleep and what you can do, is to simply diffuse lavender essential oil in your bedroom or just sprinkle a few drops on the sheets for this calming and relaxing effect.

This is definitely helpful after a long day, especially when trying to get your kids to calm down and have a good night sleep. Applying directly to your kids'feet can have a wonderful relaxing effect on your little tikes. Or you may just add one drop under the pillow for children.

You too can enjoy a nice foot bath with a few drops of lavender oil. It helps to relieve fatigue and stress for you and the significant other. Also, keeping a small bottle of lavender oil with you throughout the day and in the car is a wonderful accompaniment especially when dealing with stressful and challenging situations with your children. It helps to calm both you and your kids and make your day relax, calm and enjoyable.

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For all its benefits, I'm offering a 100ml of lavender essential oil for only S$60. Retail is usually about $20.50 for a 10ml bottle. Imagine, the savings of about S$140! You wouldn't want to miss this very special offer.

Other essential oils I have to offer is country rose, ginger and lemongrass blends, lemongrass, rosemary, grapefruit and sweet orange.

Free delivery within Singapore. Submit your orders to mariaandtahir@gmail.com. Orders will be processed once a fund transfer of 50% has been made to one of the following account:
DBS: 029-0-028080 POSB: 084-87540-6 OCBC: 553-0-055416

Balance of 50% will be cash on delivery. Once you have made a fund transfer, please email mariaandtahir@gmail.com or sms to 8102-8487. This offer is good up to 24 June 2010. So hurry, don’t miss this opportunity! Only S$60 for a 100ml bottle!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Kids can bake!

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Without a doubt, baking is one of the most multi-sensory activity you can do with young children. It entices and engages the child through all his senses. He not only touches, but he could see, smell, hear and even taste.

When two moms with young kids do not know what to do to fill up their kids time, they get them to help in the kitchen, and voila, AlphaBake was born!

As their toddlers grow into primary schoolers, these moms decide that venturing out to get their hands and other kids in dough creativity is the funnest thing they can do on top of their already busy schedules as working mom with kids. Soon, the excitement and the requests keep filling in, and they have not looked back since.

With baking, young kids get to exercise their fine motor skills through the dough making, the rolling, the cutting and the decorating. On top of that, they get to learn all sorts of sciences and mathematical concept in an incidental manner. And now collaborating with another entrepreneurial mom from Nurturing Minds, AlphaBake is infusing their baking classes with some fun mathematical approach this June holidays.

So why wait? Join their workshop.

AlphaBake is offering a fun-filled and multi-sensory workshop this June holiday.

Date: Saturday 12 June 2010
Venue: Seminar Room 1, Bukit Batok Civil Service Clubhouse
Time: 10am-12pm
Class Synopsis:
Show your appreciation for DAD this coming Father's Day by baking him a sweet treat he can't resist. Learn the concept of shapes, division and sharing in forming letters A and D and have great fun turning a boring 'ol semi circle and triangle into a beautiful treat for Dad!

Email them at alphabake@gmail.com if your interested.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Genius in the making

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I've blogged about Glenn Doman before, and am using some of its methods now, though not fervently. I have also purchased the encyclopaedic materials from The Institute of Human Potential from the US, and that sets me back by a hefty hundred dollars. Recently, however, I've discovered the GeniusMaker which is a downloadable software that has words, pictures, dot cards and more. It is a flashcard programme similar to Glenn Doman, and perhaps the Shichida method if you have heard of him.

Truth be told, I don't quite appreciate the Shichida method as compared to Glenn Doman. This was because when I went to the Shichida parent seminar about 8 years ago when Afzal was about 2 years old, I was quite put off by some remarks and comments made by the lady owner who brought Shichida to Singapore. And besides, I am wary of methods that used some form of hypnosis in wanting to reprogram your child's brain. Some Shichida parents may not agree with me but there would also be other parents who don't quite agree with the flashcard program.

I do believe that flashcard program works, as I know of people who have used the Glenn Doman methods, and their children's success are testimony that Glenn Doman works. However, in raising our children to be gifted and geniuses, we have to incorporate other creative strategies in nurturing our kids. And to me, flashcard is just one of the many workable methods or tools in nurturing our young kids.

I have not bought the GeniusMaker but I am wondering whether I should cos it is very affordable and will be a good investment for Aqil and perhaps more bubs in the future. I'm sure it takes away the many hours of trying and struggling to make some of the resources myself, and these self-made resources may not come cheap. This software is also usable in the school environment, so if anyone has a preschool, the GeniusMaker could be one of the tools used in the preschools, and I really hope that our Malay/Muslim based preschools might consider using this software as well.

Click here to find more about the GeniusMaker.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

I need time management!

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My firstborn is 10 years old this year, and he is mid-way into his primary four education (aka grade 4).

Since he is out of the zero to nine years age range, the age range of 'early childhood', well, I can safely say that Afzal is into his middle childhood. Now, what does that mean?

It just mean one thing for me. His mathematics subject is getting harder, and it is definitely a steeper learning curve this year, not only for him but for me. On top of the mathematics, there's the science that is a lot more demanding this year.

The problem sums are getting more complicated, and there are layers of layers of problems to solve before you even arrive to the actual answer that the question wants. My speciality has always been early childhood maths, and now I realize  that I am not as productive as I could be in assisting him with this middle-hood maths.

I have reliquished my teaching role to the hubby, partly maths is getting a bit too complicated for me. It has been less fun to teach without using manipulatives and hands-on materials, because at primary four, there's very little creativity involved in the teaching. Maybe I have not researched enough how to solve the problem sums more creatively.

And partly we have an addition to the family, our 2nd born son. As a growing baby, Aqil needs attention, and at 6 months, he already knows whose attention he wants to seek. ;P And now I am re-starting my early childhood strategies cycle once again this time on Aqil.

It's going to be an exciting ride ahead! With the trials that Afzal had gone through with me, I definitely have a better idea of what, how, why, and when to do things with Aqil, I surely hope so. But one thing that I have to remember is that every child is different, but every child has the potential to learn anything and everything. And in order for Aqil to maximise learning, it really depends on me as the parent to nurture and harness his capacity. However, it is always so easy to get sidetracked and distracted with the daily grind of life.

As a working mother who only wants the best for her kids and our lives ahead, I have to keep reminding myself that my children are only young once. If I missed that moment, that opportunity, that milestone, it will never, ever come back to me. So, this reminder is for me to spend my time wisely with my children. Time management! is key to my sanity as a working mum!

Monday, February 08, 2010

The Beauty of Mathematics

As I was chatting with Adib's sister, H, and was tinkering with the idea of a mommy's meet up to chat about good parenting on our kids, she mentioned that her brother, Adib is in town, and would be glad to contribute to the Malay community. Carpe Diem! So, the next thing I know, together with a colleague of mine who was a former Mendaki staff, we arranged and managed to get Mendaki's fast response and agreement to have Adib share about the beauty of mathematics with Mendaki tuition kids at Damai Primary School on 23 January 2010.



Adib shared his love for mathematics, and why and how he sees patterns and art in mathematics, all the more making the subject less numeric but more creative should I say. And to top it all, his parents has also kindly agreed to share their parenting tips with parents of the Mendaki tuition kids.



For more photos, click here.

Sunday, February 07, 2010

Another genius in our midst

Image from here.

Aren't we inspired that there is another genius in our midst?

At 13 years of age, Muhammad Haikal Abdulllah Zain scored A star for his 'O' Level Physics, Chemistry and Biology that he sat for last year in the International General Certficate in Secondary Education (IGCSE). This gifted education programme boy from Rosyth Primary School and NUS High School of Mathematics and Science has applied to the National University of Singapore to read medicine. He also sat for the 'A' level Maths paper and got an A.

For his PSLE, he scored 274 points out of 300 in the Primary School Leaving Examination. Now it seems that Haikal's younger brother may just follow his footsteps. Muhammad Farhan who is now a primary 6 pupil at Rosyth and similarly a Maths Olympiad like his elder brother, also scored three A stars and one A in the IGCSE exams last year. Now why would he need to take his PSLE this year anyway?

Born to housewife mother, Salha Abdat, 39, and a director of an engineering company father Abdullah Zain, 40, we do not know much else about this family though I sense that his dad is someone familiar in the Malay business community. Now, aren't we all interested on what the parents did to create such geniuses in their children? I hope Berita Harian, Suria and other oganisations will do something - a report, a tv programme, a radio talkshow, a community outreach seminar, a workshop - so as to create this education ripples or revolution in the community. It's too good to miss, and I can only suspect that it has to do with GD and many other strategies. For one, Haikal's interests include chess and computer programming. He also holds a Grade 8 certificate in violin and practises taekwondo, most of which are very pro-GD traits.

Since 'parents' is part of the equation for our children's academic performance, I'm sure we are interested to know what Madam Salha and Mr Abdullah Zain did right in their children's education department. Also, according to the report, Haikal was inspired by Ainan Cawley's ability in scoring a C for Chemistry at 7 years of age, that he felt he can also sit for the exams and get As. Now, that's what "idols" are for. If one boy (Haikal) is inspired by another (Ainan), we need more publicity for all the "idols" in our community, don't we?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Professionalizing the teachers

I saw the Malay news last night and read in Berita Harian this morning about the graduation of 24 madrasah teachers who have completed a professional diploma degree in education at NIE. MUIS, or the Islamic Council of Singapore, invested in these asatizahs so they are better equip and better able to teach their students using current pedagogy. As we all know, the madrasahs have to attain a certain standard in the PSLE exams for their students in order to continue its operations, and therefore an important aspect to achieving this is the professional development of its teaching personnel.

There you go, syabas MUIS for the investment! Mr Alami Musa, who is the head of MUIS, believes that pedagogy in the education sector is very dynamic and continually changing, and this professional development has to continually continue. And I totally agree with this.

May I suggest if MUIS could also look into the professional development of its preschool teachers in the mosque-based kindys? I know that MCYS is accountable to this, but I'm sure we want to do more to help our children attain better in education and maths, and one way is to invest in its teaching personnel in the preschools with current early childhood pedagogy especially in the area of mathematics. We have to start earlier and younger, right?

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The T & T of things

A aquaintance once told me about what her teacher friend remarked, "I teach 40 kids in school but I neglect my own children."

And the reason given for the above neglect is that "teaching is a demanding job". This is because it is not true teachers only work from 7am - 2pm but definitely longer than that and it is not true that teachers can take on long holidays during the school holidays, they still have to come to school for meetings, plannings and so on.

It seems oxymoron when a teacher who is also a parent cannot even teach her own children. There are many other working parents out there, who are juggling work and parenthood, some with equally demanding careers if not more. If we could readily point fingers at some parents for our children underperformance in education, what can we say about parents who are teachers, and who are supposedly having the skills to teach. Now, the teacher parent says, "it is not the same teaching your own kids and other people's kids." But of course, this is only one example that I came across. Most of my teacher friends have well-educated children.

Are we to blame all parents for our Malay children low performance in mathematics, or at least analyse another possible cause - ie. the missing algebra - teachers and their teaching instruction, the T & T of things.

When I had to choose a primary school for my kid, I met with the principal of my intended school, and his first question is "Is your child able to read?" He went on to say that if your child is not reading by the time he comes to my school, he will struggle.

Now, now, now, what is he hinting at? What is the purpose of going to school, in the first place? Isn't it to give my child an education?

A colleague who is a professor said that "it is to get educated", and I do agree. But in real life and in Singapore's schools, we want children who come to primary one to be school-ready, to be well-prepared and are less forgiving if the child comes to school not knowing his ABCs and 123s.

The role of schools these days is not of educating the child, it seems, but of making the life of teachers easier teaching well-prepared kids and the status of the principals elevated because their students are achieving better all because some parents have fully prepared and educated their children at home, or paying exorbitant fees to private operators for pre-primary preparatory programs. But not all parents can afford the fees. And for some parents, who is like the teacher above, do at times find it a struggle to be working and then coming home and teaching their own kids. Now, if she, an educated parent, because she is a trained teacher but also has problems nurturing her own children, how do you make sense of all other parents especially those who are low income, low education, untrained in teacher training, lack many skills - parenting included, lack know-how to teach their children and/or struggling to make ends meet? Don't these parents find it a bigger struggle to teach their children at home?

Children in Finland attend school only at age 7 but they are ahead in Singapore as the top performing school systems in the world and the reason being, Finland recruit only the top 10% of graduates as compared to 30% in Singapore to become teachers and most have a master qualification (McKinsey,2007). The status of teaching and teacher is equitable to that of a doctor or lawyer and therefore qualified personnel are willing and want to be teachers in Finland.

I believe MOE and NIE are working towards growing a bigger pool of master-qualified teachers in years to come, but I'm more concerned about our preschools - the Malay- and mosque-based typed which I can safely say have very few highly qualified T and T. I do wonder what are the criterias for teacher recruitment and selection in our Malay- and mosque-based kindys as well as the teaching instructions in these schools?

We need quality and qualified teachers/principals in our preschools. We need teachers who think about their teaching - having the right skills and metacognition in teaching the right pedagogy of early childhood maths. And as much as we feel that our Malay children feel lowly and anxious about doing maths, do our preschool teachers also feel the same way when they teach maths? Do our teachers have maths-anxiety when it comes to teaching maths?

I recommend reading Constance Kamii Teachers need more knowledge of how children learn maths and many of her articles about how the young minds process numbers and think about numbers, and how teachers (or parents) should try to understand the way our young process maths and number, and therefore teachers need the skills, knowledge, pedagogy and metacognition of mathematical learning and thinking. And I have to reiterate this, as most community leaders think that maths is about practice, practice, practice but in the early years, it's about logical thinking. And Constance Kamii clearly expound teachers nurturing logical thinking to their students. How is it done? Well, teachers, you need to read to find out!

Solving Maths Problems: The Confidence Factor by Ng Swee Fong believes that teachers' confidence factor in maths will also influence the way they teach mathematics. If teachers themselves express high anxiety in solving maths, they may be doing a disservice to their students. Though the research is with primary teachers, it is applicable to all teachers. If some primary teachers have confidence issues, what's more preschool teachers - trained or untrained in early childhood education? What's more parents - with high education or low - since most of us are not trained teachers in the first place.

Another paper of interest to our community leaders should be the following "Do Chinese and Malay students report different ways of studying mathematics?" and therefore, if there are different ways of studying, should teachers have different ways and strategies of teaching the maths espcially if the Chinese kids get it, and the Malay kids don't. When the Malay kids don't, can we stop to think that perhaps we need to teach another way so that they get it. Again, T and T?

Get it?

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Of "idols" and nurturing giftedness

Once upon a time, a parent told me that she thought her child is bad at mathematics, but his cousins, who could not solve the same problems, are in fact worst off than him. In that sense, she said, my child is not so bad after all.

Well, that's not much of a role model to be comparing with. In this family of low-attainers, where bright sparks do not run even in their closest relations, they don't get much inspiration and aspiration to succeed. With no role models to emulate, they don't even think that their children can be smart like other children. To this family, the smarts are the others, it could not be them.

Now, can we nurture a child to be smart, bright and of course, gifted? Or is giftedness a gift from God, and that a child's intelligence is predestined by the time he or she is born?

We all know the old adage that a child is like a white canvas and it is up to the parents to colour it. Colour it right, and you'll get a masterpiece. The problem is not all parents are great painters, but even if we are not great painters, we can create abstract art, isn't it? Abstract art is subjective, it may not be of value to one collector but it could fetch millions for another.


The "idol" number 2 that I'd like to introduce is Natasha Nabila. At the end of 2007's PSLE results, Natasha is a top PSLE scorer. She is also the nation's first student who held such an outstanding score of 294, short of 6 to make it a perfect score in PSLE's 17 year history. Natasha is Malay, and her success has made the Malay community very proud. We should make Natasha a great role model for our children.

Is Natasha naturally gifted or are there some things that her parents have done to nurture her giftedness? Perhaps, Natasha may have the smart genes, but her "A" level parents also gave her a headstart.

When her mother was pregnant with Natasha, she and her husband read fairy tale every night to unborn Natasha.

At 3 months old, her parents bought her an encyclopaedia. Even if Natasha cannot read, I'm sure her parents are reading the encyclopaedia to her.

At 2 years old, Natasha is already reading on her own.

And Natasha also plays the piano and violin and is in her primary school's Scrabble Club. This Gifted Education Programme student cited consistent work and love for reading as secrets of her success. Natasha also has good time management and a supportive home environment. Her mother, Zaharah Othman will switch off the tv when it is time to study, and they have special time dedicate just for reading which is usually before bedtime.

Even if Natasha is naturally gifted, her parents nurture her giftedness such that she achieved unprecedented performance in the PSLE's exams.

My 'idol' number 3 is Ainan Cawley, who at age 6 has taken his Chemistry exams at 'O' level, and is simply a genius at the subject. This child prodigy of mixed Malay and British parentage is unmistakably naturally gifted, but his parents do not simply let him be. They still strive to nurture his natural and exceptional abilities in the sciences and at the same time create the environment and opportunities to further hone his gifts.

Aren't we inspired by these 'idols' in our community? Don't we want to emulate them - the kids and the parents? Don't we want to nurture our own children to giftedness? Don't we want our own 'blood idols'?

Rather than think we can't, or the smarts are the others, we should think we can, and that our children can be one of the smarts. After all, trying something and persevering is better than not doing anything. Even if our child may not be academically gifted, he or she may be gifted in other areas, and we hope that he or she will be brilliant enough to sail smoothly through school and life, with some heardstart from us, parents.

Monday, January 04, 2010

We need "Idols"

... not of the Singapore or American Idol singing sensation type but "idols" or role models of successful Malays that our young children can look up to and emulate. So here is one "idol" or role model I'd like to introduce to inspire our children and our Malay community, and I hope he and his family do not mind the sharing. It is meant for a good cause.

Photo by Michael Clayton-Jones taken from this site.











A Berita Harian commentator mentioned him in his article as "Duta" (ambassador) for maths, but there was no profile of who or what this person pictured above is all about.

At the time the picture was taken in 2005, Adib Surani was only 17 years old but he was the top student in the whole of Victoria, Australia. Adib Surani is Malay, Muslim and hailed from Singapore. The Age, an Australian paper regarded him as a Maths whiz, and that he is one of the top brains in maths in Australia for a child his age. Currently he is an undergrad with the University of Melbourne majoring in pure mathematics.

While in Singapore, Adib attended Raffles Institution. You may think that he is naturally and highly gifted, but I also believe that it is nurture that help him achieve remarkable performance in maths. What little I know about his family is that his parents, pious and God-fearing, also practice Glenn Doman on their children.

Just google Glenn Doman, and you can read about him and his methods of teaching children. In fact, there are various Singapore websites dedicated to parents who practice GD, and other methods on their children.

I was first introduced to Glenn Doman about ten years back when a colleague at that time, Encik AR lend me the book "How to multiply your baby's intelligence" by Glenn Doman. He said it really worked because his wife, late Aunty Z, who is a homemaker, practiced GD on their only son, and their son is a scholar with an Ivy League university.

Another Malay/ Muslim family I met about five years back also practice GD on their children. Their eldest daughter is a PhD holder, and one of their sons at that time was in a gifted education programme with Rosyth School.

There are other methods in teaching our young effectively not only GD, but I am introducing GD because of what I have seen happening to some families like Adib who practices them. GD can be hardwork for the parents but if one perseveres, the rewards though not seen immediately will bear fruits later.

Though I was introduced to GD, I did not persevere and practice it fervently as at the time my first son was born, I was a working mother who work erratic hours and I simply could not do the three times a day flashing of cards, though I made some of the cards myself. However I improvised, and played some flashcard games with my son during the weekends with him. My method was not GD, but sort of GD-like. As parents, we have to get creative in teaching our children since I cannot follow through the strict principles behind GD.

My son is not in the gifted education programme but at primary four, I think he is doing alright in his studies and we keep working with him on his maths and other subjects.

Now, my question is, if GD methods really work, and could potentially benefit some families, why not "Glenn Domanised" some of our education programme for our community? If not all, perhaps our preschools could also use some of GD methods in their curriculum.

We should have workshops and seminars for parents on GD on a large scale. We should purchase or make the materials to be used for our "at risk of failing" families. We should do it now, and we should get parents to prepare even when their child is in the womb.

The revolution has to start now! Just look at Adib. I'm sure we want success stories like him.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Tossing and sleeping...





At about 29/30 weeks of my pregnancy, I'm feeling tired and extremely sleepy all the time. Apart from tossing between the two books - one on baby, the other on Islam and religion, I could barely digest both of them. The thing is eventhough on days that I am not fasting, I still wake up for sahur, for the sake of hubby and Afzal. After sahur and solat subuh, I zonked back on bed, if it's even for half hour just to catch up on much needed sleep eventhough I had gone to bed at 8.30 pm the night before. When I woke up, I felt like I could still go on sleeping. My shoulder is aching, and my hands and feet felt like they are in need of some kneading and moulding.

I wish my baby in my tummy is having a good night sleep too cos if he is not sleeping right, I don't know if he is sleeping tight, and I don't want his sleeplessness to affect us later.

This Ramadan, I have been struggling with my fasting, not because I cannot 'tahan' but because I fear that baby will be underweight and that I'll get another scolding from the gynae. Afzal, on the other hand, has been very good with his fasting and solat, Alhamdullillah. I'm really proud that he has been doing his solat eventhough when we were not at home to monitor him.

Eventhough it is a one week school break, Afzal still goes to school for 3 days for his conversational Mandarin lessons, and when asked what he learnt, he conveniently said he forgets. But yesterday evening, he was spouting, "wa sher ma lai ren" (I am Malay). Other than that, we gave him his Nintendo game to play with apart from his fixation with facebook and computer-related games. He has also told me to print some primary four maths problem sums. He wants to try and attempt some of it. I think he is doing rather ok with his maths, but his other subjects could further improve.

With hari raya coming, I have not done anything yet. Except for some cookies that we bought at Simpang Rengam, Johor, I have not bought other stuffs. No baju raya for me this year, as I will not fit into one and hubby has also decided to just dorn some previous years' raya outfits. Only Afzal will have a new baju kurung this year. I have also not bought the cookie containers, not gotten a mattress for the Queen size bed in the other room, not packed my bag for the hospital, not bought any baby's stuff, not even think about what to cook for raya.

I'm totally zombied this year.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Am still trying...

With all the goodies given to encourage marriage and children, I am wondering whether someone like me can be given help as well - government or divine help.

I'm happily married, I have a son. But I would really like to have more kids, but as I have always told well-intentioned relatives who kept asking when is the next one, I would just say my queue number is still not up yet. Or rather Allah has not decided to give me this extra rezeki for only He knows. For a more tongue-in-cheek replies, I would respond in the likes of my brother-in-law, 'the sperm swims backwards'. Yes, my sis and her hubby have not pro-create too for their own reasons that I know not of.

I was preggie with Afzal only one month after marriage, and now I wondered why it has taken that long to conceive a second one. Afzal is already 8 years old this year, and though we have tried since he was two years old (whether very hard or otherwise), it has not borne fruits. I've seen my gynae, and have gone for traditional uruts, and pop some herbal pills, and up to date, still no buns in the oven. We don't think we will ever consider IVF. We have conceived naturally before.

And the clock is ticking. I'm already past 35 - the age that I thought I should stop pro-creating. Am 36 this year, with hubby claiming 40 and the clock is still ticking.

We've talked about this. If we are still not having any, hubby seems contented to have just one. He does not want to reach retirement age and find that his kids are just entering preschool. However, I am still hopeful, and though cost of raising kids are high, I'm sure with His grace and blessings, everything will fall in place.

I'm still hopeful until perhaps before I reach 40...?

Monday, April 21, 2008

The "how" of things

It is not what we teach, but how we teach that made the greatest difference to our children.

A newfound wisdom came from a mother of two children, who told me the above. I had gone to her house to do a maths intervention programme for my master's research paper, and the methods that I used made her rethink the ways that she had been teaching mathematics to her children. It was an awakening for her. As for me, it was the stamp of approval that what I was doing was perhaps the better way of teaching mathematics to very young children.

It may not be the absolute way or the school-approved way, but the "how" is very important when we teach young children. You can get the child to add 2 + 2 using worksheets, or you can play a game of two dices and get the child to add the two numbers when the two dices are thrown. That made a whole world of difference to the child and to the mom. And it is probably one of the best ways to teach young children to love and appreciate maths, and ultimately score in maths.

The "how" of things crept up again when I was revisiting a research project that I was involved some years earlier. This time, it was a father of three children who was reminiscing about his childhood - a childhood that he would remember albeit with a bit of bitterness and grief. When he did not do well in his exams, his own father would be disappointed and told him to study harder. But he does not know how to study harder. "How" does one study harder to get better grades when one is not being shown, or demonstrated or have a role model to emulate? This made the father more adamant that he will show the "how" to do things to his own kids and not simply just telling them what to do. He said that it is akin to telling your young child to read, and yet you yourself do not read to your own child, or teach him how to read. That will be disastrous in itself.

I've seen the ad many times in the paper, about some accelerated program that promised to make a difference to your child's grades, of course with improved grades and not vice versa. I've spoken to the founder once, and somehow I decided to attend her free seminar and see for myself what exactly is this program all about. Again, what I felt she is telling to her potential clients is - it is not what we teach, but how we teach - that could make or break a child's grades and esteem. We can study so very hard and for very long hours, but if we do not have the right method or technique of learning, it may just go to waste as we will not produce the kind of results that we wanted. According to her, our human brain is only using less than 5% of the potential it can reap. She does make sense especially to parents who do not understand that it is important to show your child the better way to learn. Show, not just say. Saying the wrong words may ultimately do more damage to your child than you think.

I didn't sign up for my child because eventhough she claimed she will impart 8 different ways of learning, at least I think I may have two or three of the "hows" in my pocket for my kid. That will be enough for now. And if my "hows" are not working for my child, I'll find out more "hows" for him in the future.

Thursday, January 03, 2008

All that I want, is just another...

What shall I blog about? Reflections and resolutions ...nah. It was an uneventful start to the new year. No reflections, no resolutions... just a fancy do. I rebonded my hair for the first time. I would still like a nice crown under my hejab without the unruly kinks, and yes, I'm pretty delighted with the outcome. It wasn't about vanity, it was about not having a bad hair day. Yes, I could have a bad hair day eventhough my hair is covered.

That aside, I didn't ponder about 2007, but I guess now that I am writing this, I am beginning to think about the shape my life has taken this year. I went back to becoming FTWM in March but in an industry totally different from what I used to be in. It was more sane, I guess, clocking in sane number of hours, and leaving on the dot or even lesser than the exact dot. Some people may think that I have caved into the rut of the admin lady - the one who does not care about the grand vision of the company, who just need to do her part and off she goes home to her loving husband and child.

Hey, but I do have a grand vision, a vision of a good life for me - that without a doubt. If you believe in Maslow's Hierarchy of Human Needs, the higher we move up the ladder, the more self-actualization we want. And I believe, I'm selfish enough to make it all about ME now. Yes, ME! Like the song goes, "All that I want, is just another..." (FILL UP YOUR OWN WORD).

I have had some great fulfilments in my career in the last decade, and though there's more higher peaks to scale in that area, I'm happy to leave it for the others. But if I do decide to climb that same peak again, it has to be different. It has to be about a cause, a personal cause. A cause that will lead me to the right path and direction, not necessarily the highest peak.

That's fulfilment.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Between Standard and Foundation

Just recently, the ministry of education came up with newer plans for children taking the normal course in secondary schools. It looked like a better plan, because for once, the needs of these children are really looked into. Among them is the creation of a head of department for normal technical education in secondary schools. This only means that there would be someone to look into the affairs, needs and matters of normal tech's curriculum and students. There would also be refinement in the Sec 4 and Sec 5 curriculum so that the children can go direct into Higher Nitec at ITE or the polytechnics respectively. There are other initiatives, like getting ITE lecturers to be seconded to secondary schools so that they are better able to share their expertise and inspire the students. There will also be the creation of new posts of educational associates to be attached to schools as well.

The reason that these being good news to me, is that, I know, many of our Malay children are in this stream. And if it's being refined to give them more opportunities, they should grab this opportunity and not let it slip by.

One other thing that I found out is that there are no more EM3 and the merge EM1/EM2 banding in primary schools anymore. There are only two types of subject bandings, and they are foundation subjects and standard subjects. This only means that children can choose to take up all standard subjects or one or two foundation subjects depending on their ability and affinity in those subjects - English, maths, science and mother tongue. This is great as instead of labelling the child, we label the subjects, and if a child is not able to take up a standard subject, then they should consider a foundation subject. And children will be mixed in a class.

However, a word of caution from some educators:

This is especially the case for foundation maths. Many educators believe that it is still necessary for the child to take standard maths instead of foundation maths, as the requirement for entry into most faculties in post-secondary education, except ITE, requires standard maths. If you want to take up "O" levels maths, you have to learn standard maths, not foundation. In that sense, these educators felt that if a child already took foundation maths in primary school, it will only limit his/her choices later on. And as we all know, some children are late bloomers, and we also do not want to doom the child before he can bloom.

It is just an advise for parents to plan and think ahead - not only of their child's abilities, but their child's interests and the possible choices ahead. Unless, a parents' feel that their child can only do an ITE track, then they should nurture the child to realise a higher nitec track in ITE, and later diploma in poly. If, however, they feel that their child is still able to perform better than expected, they should consider giving as much assistance in standard mathematics at the primary level so that their children can have many more options and choices to choose from for his education later in the future.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

To give or not to give

Do you think we, Singaporeans, have too many help at hand? Or maybe too many organisations or individuals canvassing from funds all year round all the time?

I am just wondering, would you give your loose change to the countless number of times that you would be approached at the hawker centres, or the markets by some elderly religious man or woman, or some young innocent kids? If you give, do you also questioned their 'authenticity of needs'? If you don't give, do you feel guilty for not extending your arm to the unfortunate, if truly they are unfortunate.

How would you respond, if it is not once, but many times to these modern-day begging when the "askers" looked quite polished in terms of clothings. Of course, there are others, and especially so during holy months like Ramadan, that made me feel we have a plethora of "askers" this time around looking rather dishevelled on the streets of Geylang, Bussorah and entrances of mosques all over Singapore. The reason being is that we tend to be more giving during Ramadan as compared to at other times, and this could be the reason for abuse by some people in need of that extra cash.

I bumped into two young kids - playful, as they were going down on an up escalator at the Joo Chiat Complex, and they shoved a 'makeshift' box, which looked more like a tupperware that has been cut a hole on the cover. They also gave a slip of photocopied paper. I looked at the paper. It was the prayer schedule for this Ramadan period which I already have and could download freely from the internet. So I declined the paper but I slotted a two dollar note into that little hole made on the cover of their tupperware, and then I asked the young girl, "where are you from?". This question was more of me wanting to know which organisation that the kid came from, and her innocent respond was "Yishun Avenue 5". I wondered whether there was any welfare organisation at Yishun Avenue 5. Hmmm...would any parents do this to their kids? I mean, as much as you are in dire straits, would you get your kids to beg with the guise of donation boxes. I wondered.

And I wondered again, about a certain organisation organising a "ready-for-school-fund". Don't we have enough? Like the Kindergarten Financial Assistance Scheme, Educational Trust Fund, Prophet Muhammad Trust Fund, School Pocket Money Fund, and every other organisations giving out free books, uniforms and school bags come every end of year. Can't we tap from these funds, or from one fund that has the same objectives? Are there checks in place or that the same applicant can received all the funds? And then in the end getting more than three free schoolbags that year. Does giving schoolbags alone helped educating the minds of the young? Yes, you can go to school with a fancy new school bag, but has the community made any progress?

And when I think about it, wouldn't it be better if this new fund is not merely for buying physical items for the families that we already have enough, but educating the Malay families about the importance of education, importance of progressive education, educating the child in 'premium' playgroups for literacy and numeracy skills so that they can possibly catch up with their peers? Out of 19 children identified for help in literacy and numeracy in kindergarten, 14 are Malay families. I wondered why? Not so much because of the large number of Malay families, well... that too, but only 19 needed help. That's not too bad a figure, isn't it? Really? 19 only...?

I've said to a friend before. We are trying to chase the Singapore dream for us Malays, who were supposedly indigenous to this land. Thirty years on from merdeka, we are still working towards getting our kids into post-secondary education and this only mean polytechnic and junior college education. And by the time we reached our target in getting our kids into post-secondary education, we would be burdened by the fact that the others have left us again far behind, this time the others would have had double degrees and phDs, and we just got our diplomas and A-levels certificates. Are we to jump for joy?

It does not take thirty years to see this happening. It has happened. Just recently, it looked like the polytechnic holders of the other communities are hungry for a university degree. They are moving on, shoving their way forward that the government realised the need to built a fourth university to cater to this group. But do our children fall into this group? Out of a 1000 applicants, how many can we safely say are our Malay children who are degree hungry? We are always happy and would spread it in the Malay news, if one of our Malay kids get it. Why one? Why can't it be 150 Malay children or even more. Then, that will be greater news, isnt it? Therefore, I ask, are our outreach approach and goals to educate the community outdated? I wondered again.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

The life of Apul

Apul was eating the food that his mom fed him on the roadside. It looked like a bowl of rice with soup that she had gotten from the street vendor. They sat with their bum squarely on the pavement - she fed him, he ate. Apul's face looked like he needed a good scrub. And maybe a change of clothing. His mother too.

Apul looked active, like any young child would be. When we waved and called out to him to come to us, he seemed shy. His mother kept encouraging him persistently to go to us. Such agility, such innocence, as he toddled his way through. Apul came to us, with 'reserved daringness'. My mom gave him a pack of boiled peanuts that she bought, and then I offered him 1000 Rupiah. He took the boiled peanuts, the 1000 Rupiah and another 1000 Rupiah from my mom. He waddled away like any happy child who was just given candy. His mother beamed from the pavement and hollered a thank you. When Apul came to her, she said to him in her endearing tone, "Have you said thank you? Have you said thank you, Apul?"

We left them in their own world, but as I caught glimpses of that little world of theirs on the pavement, how priviledged a life I felt I had, and how priviledged my son is as compared to Apul. On the other hand, there was that carefree spirit, and a sense of happiness that both mother and child share, without any worries or cares of the world around them. I realised that the mom finally paid the street vendor for that bowl of rice from the money that we gave Apul. Perhaps, she had an agreement with the street vendor. If got money, pay. If not, no charge for this bowl of rice. This is the life that Apul is growing up in, a life on the street.

It looks like street kids and street youth are a common feature in the streets of Bandung. The kids sell stuffs - stuffs that you probably don't even need or want, or maybe hastely dust the windows of your vehicle as it stopped by the red traffic light. Many drivers keep loose change, so if you feel like being generous, you give. On the other hand, the teens strummed their guitar at every car that stopped at the traffic light, and serenaded a pop song, hoping for some loose change. Red traffic light is an opportunity to get into business. However, how much loose change do you have if you happen to live here, and get this every day and at almost every traffic stop. I saw a man in a vehicle who parted with a stick of cigarette for one of the strumming cum serenading teen. Unlike those who looked extremely poor and who purely solicit for money, there were many others, that being on the streets is perhaps like a job (?), a culture (?), a lifestyle (?), or maybe a part of the fabric of their life (?). I'm not certain.

A family friend recounted a story whereby a couple who sympathised with a street kid decided to adopt him. They gave him a home, clean and nice clothes to wear, good food to eat, schooled him but alas, the boy ran away from home and decided to remain on the street, where perhaps he was happier, stress-free, rule-free, and be part of a group or culture or lifestyle that he knew best, and most comfortable with.

Unlike those stuck in the thick of poverty, and had no choice but to beg, there were others, I believed, and it seemed to me from my naked eye, that do this for a living. But seeing many young children on the streets doing it for a living, really made me wonder about what the government is doing to help their countrymen, women and children even if I sensed that the children seemed at ease with their 'lifestyle'. Or perhaps they have been 'acculturated' or 'socialised' in this life that they were born into. Perhaps this is the only life they know, so they never need to ask for more. And thus, conveniencing their leaders.

And as I leave this place with memories of the good and the heart-wrenching, I hope Apul will meet a fate better that his peers and some of his countrymen, women and children but whatever path his destiny may take him, I pray and wish that he is happy and healthy and may the All-Knowing bestow more rezeki on him and his mother.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The state of being stateless

Just yesterday, I read in the papers about two young sisters, aged 6 and 2.5 years old, who are considered stateless because they do not have birth certificates, meaning their parents have not registered their births. In other words, they are considered illegal or perhaps non-existence in the eyes of the law.
But these girls are very much alive and living an almost normal childhood with their maternal grandmother. Though showered with much love from grandma, these kids however do not get proper immunization and now, cannot go to school because of their lack of documents.

The grassroots leaders who were tracking kids that are supposed to attend preschools but are not, found these kids. And together with their MP were shocked to hear that such cases still exist today in affluent Singapore. Now, they are trying their best to get these kids in school and proper documentation. The problems are, they do not know the identity of the first child’s father. They knew of the second child’s father, however, the jailed mother because of subutex abused is married to a third husband, who is around but does not have biological rights over these kids.

Now I am thinking aloud, not to offend any parties, but just thinking aloud, as loud as Flying Dutchman and Glen Ong always do during their morning express shows.

When these girls went to the polyclinics with their grandma or mother for immunization, and couldn’t produce their birth certificates, why didn’t the staff there suspect something? Even if they feel they couldn’t barge into domestic affairs, but considering that this non-BC issue can lead to serious implications for the future of the children, why didn’t anyone sound the alarm in their earlier years?

Once, I came across a stateless adult. I was told that he was stateless, not that I know he was or wasn’t. His parents that adopted him were both dead, and he was then fending for himself. As he did not have any form of identification, he was not able to get decent work except working at a charitable organization doing some cleaning and housekeeping work, enough to get by for food and rent of a one room flat. He was a young man, he looked decent and of a marriageable age. But I wondered, what happened if he falls really sick, or that he intends to get married? What happens just because he did not have a BC or IC?

It’s so unthinkable to think that despite being real in the flesh, in the eyes of the law, he did not exist. I think what the authorities want is to safeguard against abuses whereby immigrants, illegal or not, can use such an instances to gain residency status in the country.

But then, these young children should not be punished for the crimes of their parents, even if the real father of the first daughter be found not to be Singaporean. I mean what harm does it do to give the child the right of identity?

I wish them well, and wish that they grow up to be good citizens of the world.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Tis the season to be jolly...with lots of damage to the wallet

June school holiday has never been an issue until this year. This year where Afzal is in so-called "dah sekolah betul" (proper school) like as if he was never in proper school before. In other words, no more gallivanting or going on holidays at our whims and fancies or at any time of the year except on official school holidays. But we are kind of a level-headed parent, we never suka-suka do that except when we were in US. The reason is we have to go back to Singapore during our festive occasion or when the occasion was necesary and it does not coincide with the US school's holiday.

Since this is the season to be jolly, we had done many things jolly or otherwise. Afzal did pretty well in the first half of school and since he will be going through or rather went through a "coming of age ceremony", mama gave him a surprise.

Nintendo DS lite with all the works. Yes, the damage was quite huge as mama bought herself a digital camera too.

Circumcision ceremony for Afzal and his two other cousins. Pictures and blog to be posted at multiply soon, real soon when Mama finds the time to upload the pictures in her laptop at home.

A holiday trip to A'Famosa with the hubby's siblings, nieces and nephews. We stayed at a 4 bedroom bungalow with a pool and that was a blast for the kids. More pics and update later, if ever.

Homework to catch up with since Afzal has to write about his holiday, and guess what, something happened to the Nintendo DS Lite barely two weeks of conception and it was all partly due to mama's negligence, yes mama's, not Afzal. Another damage both to the expensive toy and mama's purse again maybe.

Till mama feels sane again...